I think everyone should have goals. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. I actually don’t even think you have to achieve those goals, but you really should have them to start with. Drive and determination is so important to me. I actually think it is the thing I find most attractive in a person. It is also the one thing that I have found myself either lacking or in fact over compensating for since I become a Mum and it has effective my mental well being in ways I didn’t even realise till I took a step back.
Some people might be happy to just go with the flow and see where life takes them but me, I’m a planner. Don’t get me wrong, if the plan changes I am ok to adjust. Actually adapting especially in crisis situations is something I relish, but by in large, I like to have a plan and part of that plan will always be to achieve something, a end goal if you will. Before I had my children most of my goal’s revolved around my career. I would put in 100 hour weeks (I kid you not, at the time I was CEO of an brand new independent cinema I had helped open up and it was all consuming, destructive and glorious) and I thrived on my goal’s to be able to do everything and do it to a very high standard.
I guess since leaving work and becoming a Mum my goal’s have changed although they still often take on fierce importance but with parenting it isn’t always as easy to achieve the intended outcome. I became obsessed with being the best possible Mum ever since I had my first child. I ready EVERY SINGLE BABY BOOK there was available. My friends still text me for advice now on a whole miliad of subjects because they know I’ll have read up on it at some point. Most of my sentences began “I read this article…” for the first two years of Aiden’s life until Faye came along and there no longer was time to research every single hand motion they made whilst sat waiting for food (a sign of intelligence to combat a desire to scream or demand the food quicker. A coping mechanism to allow their bodies an outlet for the impatience they feel. Both my two did/do it. Clearly the stuff of Child Genius’!)
So my goal’s had to shift because being the perfect parent with the perfect children is unattainable. If you do the best you can do at any given time then you have achieved something pretty special I think, but it took me a long time to accept that and I do still set my personal patenting goals just that bit too high and wonder why I disappoint myself when I have one of “those days” and Aiden has watched Paw Patrol for a good straight hour when I had said just one episode.
I was given a wonderful piece if advice from my Dad when Aiden was a few weeks old and I was panicking that I got nothing done each day. He said set yourself just ONE thing to do each day. Do it first thin so you feel like you have achieved something that day. Things might go tots up and it might take you all day to actually water the plants but plan for that one thing and anything else is a bonus. I still do that now 3.5 years on and I love getting my one thing done even on “those” days and ten things on others.
A side note on goals: I also think you should have sone pretty crazy out there goals so here are some of the ones I have now or have had in the past.
- Win an Emmy / Golden Globe (for Costume Design)
- Be the youngest female to climb Everest
- Live in a converted bus
- Get a PhD
So what are your goal’s?
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